As many of us tend to do in January, I have been looking back on my past year. I told you before that it was a rocky one. Emotional extremes, change, growth: all these things became well-documented in the 3 sketchbooks I kept with me over the course of the year.
Now you might expect that Beth Logan's sketchbook is a fun little place bursting with lovely little drawings of irresistible baby bunnies and pretty flowers. I mean, why wouldn't you? Baby bunnies and pretty flowers is pretty much how I roll. But this isn't that.
At the time I created them, the pages I'm sharing here were way to personal, too silly, too dark, maybe a little too swear-wordy, weird, sloppy, or just not that interesting on their own to post on Instagram like I do with some stuff from my sketchbooks. Together, though, they tell a story. A story about a challenging year; about experiencing, coping, overcoming, and embracing every single moment.
What I appreciate most looking back through these books, and what I hope to share with others by showing you a few of these pages, is the hopefulness that emerges from those darkest moments; the happiness sprouting up into the light after hiding underground. Nights can be terribly black, but the sun always comes back up. Spring always follows winter. And we're not alone. Little reminders that these things are true have been priceless to me these past few weeks as I've been nearing the light at the end of my own tunnel. And maybe there's someone else out there who might see this and find a little comfort in your own challenging journey. It gets better. I was told this so many times, in so many ways, by so many people . . . because it's true. It always does. Whatever miserable crap you're going through. And if it's not getting any better right now, it will eventually. I promise. We all promise.
So with that in mind, here's a little peek into the more personal parts of my year: little tidbits of my own truth scattered throughout the pages of my sketchbooks.
Reminders and affirmations were a constant.
So many words in my head. Even more than usual.
I often paste quotes, scraps, and ephemera odds and ends randomly throughout the book to add a little inspiration when I get to those pages. My mood or what I'm experiencing the day I reach that page in my book can dramatically change what those little pasted snippets say to me, and what they become.
When the year started, the heartbreak and darkness were still pretty fresh. I was in it, and all my edges were still pretty jagged.
And I was trying really hard to figure it all out.
Sometimes, just when you think you're past the storm and are floating gently on smooth seas, something happens and you're sucked back under for a while.
But you live it. Experience it. Each. Dumb. Little. Moment.
Sketchbooks are for sketching, after all, for playing around, just for fun...
and there was that, too.
Silly snippets of life, little memories,
playing with the scraps,
and always: constant reminders,
nudges,
stuff I wanted to remember,
and when the light returned, as it always did, it was celebrated too.
There will always be difficult moments, even desperate, melodramatic moments,
but I truly believe this:
Living in each moment,
the weird insecure ones
and the happy kick-ass ones
just feels like the only way to be.
Looking back at everything I felt this past year, I'm so grateful I experienced those moments, and I'm ready to face whatever new moments I get this coming year. And I sincerely wish you guys all a fabulous 2016 bursting with amazing moments . . . Happy New Year!
xoBeth
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