Hey there. It's been a long time, I know.
In case you haven't already heard, there have been some big changes over here at the Artstuff Studio. I'm still here, but then, "here" has changed. 2017 was quite a year, and I'll try to explain in under 100,000 words:
Looking back now I can see that the Universe was conspiring to this end for a long time, but as usual I didn't catch on until the last possible moment.
That moment started to arrive last summer, when I had a crazy conversation with an old friend that led to a Big Plan. The original Big Plan was to sell my little house in Seattle, buy part of my friend's beautiful farm and convert a couple historic barns into a new home and studio and start a new business venture.
The Big Plan grew over the next couple months and organizing details became my full-time job.
Letting go of my little old house was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I had been in love with that place since first peeking through those little wavy-glass window panes to the little arched doorways and fireplace nearly 30 years before. I had joked that someday I would be the little old lady in the Up House, but I meant it. I would be there forever, I thought.
Seattle real estate is ridiculous, and it sold within a week. Just like that, I was on my way to my new life.
A couple days before the sale of my house was scheduled to close, the Big Plan fell apart. The farm, the converted barns, the new business: gone. Done. Not meant to be after all. The Big Plan was immediately revised: I was wide open to whatever was meant to be, but I was terrified.
I was all over the place. Literally and figuratively.
Another barn or building to convert?
Build on raw acreage?
A move-in ready space in my price range didn't seem to exist. I wasn't just looking for a house, but also a studio and additional business potential. Countless trips all over Western Washington with my real estate agent looking at properties, attempting to narrow down the new Big Plan. Finding the just-right place seemed at times to be a impossible challenge.
I researched kit homes, RV living, tiny houses, remodels, conversions; I packed, I purged, I deconstructed 30 years,
I filled storage units, I juggled, I manifested, I prayed, I tried to stay logical and organized but in a lot of ways I was barely functioning.
Then...the first time I visited this place, I scared myself.
It felt so familiar. Standing in the loft, looking down, I realized I was looking right at the floor plan I had drawn as a kid: the log cabin of my childhood dreams.
But it had been neglected: full of junk the former residents had left behind, the only inhabitants for several months had been a couple dusty mouse carcasses in a shower stall, and of course their many living relatives.
Struggling to remain logical and avoid emotional attachment, I hesitated, and by the next day the seller had accepted another offer. I tried not to be devastated. I breathed. I struggled for some kind of balance between accepting what the Universe had in store for me, manifesting, and trying not to vomit from fear every single waking moment.
Property-viewing trips were getting scarier and more depressing every week.
As I got closer to my move-out date, I scrambled with back-up plans for temporary living and storage. Finally, and admittedly out of desperation, I decided to settle. We were in the process of writing an offer for a less-than-perfect solution when we got the call that this place was back on the market. The next morning we dropped everything, drove 2 hours to get here and when I saw it again, I felt like I was visiting an old friend.
I loved this place from deep down in my belly, and as I got out of the car I bounced up and down like a little kid.
2 weeks later I was out of my little Seattle house for good. As bittersweet as it gets, right there. I sobbed as I drove away for the last time.
I was completely unprepared for how overwhelming this move would be. Like, pathetically and embarrassingly unprepared. I had sort of thought I was someone who had my shit together. In this case, I was terribly wrong. I am not sure how it could have happened had it not been for a few amazing people I'm blessed to have in my life. I still get choked up when I think about it, and all they did.
Moving in and settling into the new space has taken longer than I had expected. But it's awesome.
I moved way out to the country. After 35 years in the city. Everything is different. But did I mention that it's awesome? Yeah, that. The Big Plan ended up completely different than it had started, and I'm grateful for every bit of it.
So that's what's been going on these past several months. I'll be back soon to chat about what's going to happen next, I hope you'll be part of that.
Thanks for stopping by,
xoBeth
