flossie's world

Well, here I am.

Hi, I’m Flossie.

In a perfect world, I would have the opportunity to sit on each and every one of you. It seems, though, that will most likely not happen...so fortunately for you I've finally found a forum in which I can share the most important thing I know with you all...and that's me, of course.

If you know me, you already know I’m a cat with a lot to say. And I look forward to sharing this with you...so please check back with me soon. But for right now, I'm kind of busy looking at myself in the monitor (as you should be, too...more pictures will be coming soon) and when I get tired of that I have an awful lot of napping to do the rest of the day.

But I'll be back soon.

It's the Least Wonderful Time of the Year...

Although this picture was taken over a week ago, I'm still thinking about how sad this was. I miss my tree. I miss my little train. I miss my ribbons and paper scraps. But mostly I miss my tree.
Every year I perform a protest sit-in when they get out the boxes to start putting it all away. But every year they just say "oh look at the cat" and take my picture (again) then pick me up and take me out of the box...and fill them all up and put them away.
I can dream about it though...my tree, my white furry tree skirt...I'll get it all back next year.

 

Mmmmff.

Busy.
Sleeping.
Don't bug me now.
Ssshhh.

...On Such a Winter's Day

Dreaming of the lazy days of summer. Cool grass. Warm sun.
I live inside the house...but on warm days, I love to hang out in the yard with my dog, listen to my birds...just teasing me up there in the branches.
It won't be too long, I guess, before I get to do that again.
But for now...days like today, even my cozy-furry windowsill beds are kind of nippy. So you can find me in here, cuddled up with my person while she works. Just dreaming about warm summer days.

A Little Zen.

There seems to be a lot of "cat haiku" out there. Have you seen this? I thought I might give you a link, but there are way too many of them. Books even. Go Google it if you're interested. But not until you've read mine, and basked in my perfection for at least a moment or two.

Content, I curl up
Perfection found in nature
Earth and cat are one

Breathe. Soak me in.

Ok, now you can go do that little search and read some other stuff. Or you might just want to go do some yoga or meditate. Your choice.

Did You Notice?

...that I'm extra soft today.

I wish all of you could pet me right now. Because if you did, you would have to say "wow Flossie, you're extra soft today."

Working Late Again.

We've been here a really long time again today.

This schedule is really wearing me out. I don't know about you but I'm ready to call it a night and go to bed...but can't just yet. Sigh.

Adventures in Tissue.

Do you love tissue as much as I do?
I know that's a stupid question, who doesn't?
Every time I hear that little "tap tap tap" on the front door that tells me there's a package on the porch, I just can't wait to see what kinds of wonderful packing material someone has sent me.
And the box...oh, the box...well...who doesn't love boxes?

There were also some less important things in the box that my person scurried off with (whatever) as if they actually meant something. She seemed awfully happy with them (again, whatever).

As long as she leaves the most fun part of the package here for me, we're ok.

I'm Not Here.

Just so you know, in case someone calls.

Being a Muse is Such Hard Work.

When the person needed an idea for this week's Illustration Friday drawing, well of course she turned to me. I mean, duh.

Saturday Morning.

Ssshhh. Don't wake her up. Don't make me move. What if we could just stay like this all day? Would that be so wrong?

It's cold today.

In case you're looking for me, I'll just be here inside the shirt until further notice.

Sweetness.

Cuddle up with someone you love today.

Note to Self:

Add this one to repertoire.
The old "Unexpected and Too Small for a Cat Niche Bed" trick.

Person seems vaguely interested that I've chosen weird little niche to settle in, instead of my puffy bed on the other side.

Hmmm.

She stopped what she was doing. She's saying things at me now. Oh this is good. I don't think she's going to move me from here.

Look cool. Pretend not to notice. Don't open...don't open the eye...ok, close it quickly. I'm ignoooooring yoooou.

Wait for it....waaaait for it....waaaaaaaaait for it...then when the timing's just right....
That's it. Slowly, softly. Head down. Act as if these shiny things make a good pillow. Keep eyes closed...now, pretend to really settle in.

Sigh loudly.

That's what they like. There. I might even get an "aaaww" out of them.

Now keep this pose just long enough, not so long I start to actually feel all this stuff under me, but long enough to make my point...then get up and demand proper attention and remind person it's been a while since I got a snack...and move to a more comfortable bed.

Ok, that should do it for now.

So What?

So what if I snore?

Maybe it's the most adorable thing you've ever heard. Did you consider that?
How many of you can say that about yourselves?

Clean Your Desk, Will Ya?

I mean, come on.
Gross.
Have a little respect.

Is This Too Much to Ask?

The person isn't paying attention to me right now.

Fortunately she is messing around near that noisy furniture...I LOVE to walk across this thing.

Um, hello...what are you doing?

Seriously what could possibly be more important than petting me?

Are you kidding me...would you come back here already?

I mean come on...can't you tell I just need you to sit the heck down and give me a LAP to sit in?

Sit down now. Give me the shirt. Ok, that's all I needed.

But wouldya wear a bigger shirt next time?

Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, not so much the exact date of my birth. That one I'll keep a secret...part of my mystery. No one will ever know about the part of my life before I crawled up on that stump, deep in the woods, to meow at the little boy and the man riding horses.

I am a deep cat. A very deep cat...with many secrets. But today isn't one of them. Today I'll talk about and talk about and talk about. In fact, that's what I've been doing all day. Talk talk talk talk talk.

The person didn't seem as excited as me that the day was finally here, so at 4:30 am I thought it best to remind her what day it was by licking her eyelids until she woke up. That always works.

It was 8 years ago today that I came to live here. It was a long drive and I told the people about that the whole time. Not so into that part, riding in the car. Nope.

The ride was over and here I was. I had no idea what was going on. So of course I ran immediately to some kind of cupboard and hid for a few hours, from which another of my mysteries began, they call that one "What was that stuff, Karo Syrup?" No one has ever figured out what that was that got all over me, or how. I have watched them several times over the years go through that cupboard (what a racket!) and then talk about it again...they ask the exact same questions, give the exact same answers, then ask me questions and and pet me and stuff. They'll never figure it out.

It's a secret.

Anyway, eventually I came out, and found other places to sit.

There was stuff to play with.

I could watch this new person work all day.

But I could not,

for the life of me,

figure out how

to get comfortable

on this strange

new

furniture.

I tried

and tried

and tried

but there was

always

something

missing.

I quickly learned it all worked much better if there was a person under me.
And that laps can even be shared.

It didn't take long before we all fell in love.

So there you have it. That's what we celebrate today. With warm meals, playing outside, and new things to play with. An entire day that's all about me (well they all are, technically, but this one especially).

So, happy birthday to me.

(Editor's note: Thank you E...we sure do love her. And yes, all these pictures are from March 2000)

A Note to my Friend, HRH

I just received an email privately from another HRH, gushingly apologetic for having overlooked my recent Very Important Day.

"...Consider ourselves with heads bowed and with great sighing.
We didn’t know it was your birthday.
Can we be forgiven and pardoned?"

Well in the interest of good diplomacy with other kingdoms, of course I forgive you. And I am sure I don't need to remind you to continue to keep me in mind, in my appropriate location, of course...

...and I do look forward to sitting on you some time soon, gracing your lap with lots of extra fur you may take home with you to keep, forever and ever. Believe me, it will not go away.

From my pedestal to yours,

HRH Flossie.

Hey.

How you doin?

Infinite Flossie.

Yes, it's finally happened.

I have now graced the Infinite Cat Project with my irresistible wonderfulness and charm. I am Infinite Cat #1554.

I had to be sure it was the very best picture possible, and choosing was quite difficult as anything with me in it is pretty much flawless.

I'm a long-time fan of this website but have always been a little disappointed in their lack of, well..lack of ME. So now that we have finally corrected that minor flaw, I am happy to share myself with you in yet another form.

Infinite Cat also features other cool cat stuff, including my very favorite animated cartoons (I go nuts when that little guy meows),  interesting links and stuff...you could spend hours basking in catness. But most importantly, basking in Infinite Flossiness.

Enjoy!

Hey, wait.

Who thought this was funny, anyway?
Not me.

Who's the wise guy pulling stuff like this out of the archives, don't they have better things to do?

I will definitely be marching back and forth across the piano at 3am tonight. All the way up and all the way down again.

I'm in Here...

If you wonder where I've been, I've been busy in here, taking care of Person while she didn't feel well. It's a very important task. I don't think anyone quite understands the scope of my work, it's terribly complex.
See, Person is up and around again, but I still have more work to do here. So don't bug me now, I'm busy with that.

Cleanliness is Next to Flossiness.

So what if I'm purring?

Sundays are for doing what you love.

On Visitors.

We all know why one visits the home of a cat. Why meetings are held, social visits planned. There's one reason and one reason only...it is to lavish upon said cat all the attention in the world. To bask in the wonderfulness and joy of simply petting the extreme softness that is cat fur, to have one's lap graced by the most noble and important creature ever to walk the earth on soft puffy pink paw-pads. To have one's clothing ruffled, wrinkled, haired, possibly even snagged a bit by The Holy One, the cat of the house. Every cat knows this, and quite a few people understand this...not all, but enough.
As I mentioned in my very first post, in a perfect world you would all experience this with me personally...sigh, there is simply not enough of me to go around for all of you. But I'm sure my many cousins will be glad to help out a bit, to knead, shed, and possibly even drool a little on you, so that you, too, may experience this nirvana.

Where's Flossie?

Flossie, here kitty kitty? Flossie?
Have you seen Flossie?
Um, not recently. Isn't she in her bed in there?
No, she's not out there?
No. Is she in the bathroom by the heat-vent?
No. Could she have snuck outside? Did you have the front door open at all?
No.
Are you sure?
I think so.
Is she in the basement?
I don't know...Flossie...kitty kitty kitty kitty? Are you down here? Flossie?
Is she under the chair?
Not in here.
(scrambling to put on shoes) I'm going to go out and see if she's out back.
Flossie...kitty kitty kitty kitty?
Hey Molly have you seen your kitty? Where's your kitty? Get the kitty! Come on Molly help find your kitty. Good girl!
Kitty kitty kitty kitty?

Wait. Don't go outside yet.
Why?
Come here, look...
(I don't know why they didn't see me. People are kind of dumb).

What's New Around Here.

(or rather, what's not new).

Well I haven't been blogging much lately, so you might wonder what I've been up to.
Today I am enjoying a CD of my favorite sounds. Person thinks she is going to learn something from this thing. If she'd just let me, I'd be happy to bring her actual specimens so we can all see who's making all that noise...but no chance. Sigh.
Yesterday I was here at the computer helping.
And here I was the day before.
And the day before that.
You get the picture.

Hey, It's That Warm Thing Again.

Guess what came to my house today?
That warm spot I like.

I haven't felt it in a long time.

Mmmm, nice.

Guess what else was here for a while?
All the boxes in the world.
It was heaven for a while...there wasn't a single spot on the floor that wasn't hidden by packing material, boxes, even the giant box on wheels.
I love the giant box on wheels.
It never stays here for long though. Person hasn't sat in one place much lately so playing in the boxes gives us a chance to spend some quality time together.

Alright, Everything's OK again.

Person is back home again, and most important, back at it here in the office where we belong. Still sort of wiggly for long-term lap-time, but I can finally settle in and breathe a little sigh of relief.
Change is bad.
Disruption of my usual schedule is frowned upon.
But things seem to be settling back into where they're supposed to be.

Pay Attention to Me.

Hey look at me, do you think these pencils look good with my eyes?
I said look at me.
Ooh, I see a lap...

What a Day for a Daydream...

Finally, that warm thing I like is back in the sky.
And finally, Person agreed to take that stuff she does all day out into the backyard so we could soak a little of it up.
It's about time.
And lookie here, there is a new addition to the dirt-filled-with-too-many-useless-green-things. Mmmm. Catnip.
What was I saying again?
Oh yeah, mmmm. Catnip.
And dirty rocks to roll on. This will give me something to work on later, when I'm back inside again (a nice long bath).
Mmmm. Catnip.
And cool grass.
All in all it was a lovely day. I'll just hide in my basket (where I'm completely invisible) and dream about it some more.

Lazy Summer Days.

Just enjoying the sunshine...
...and the company of MY pet dog.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends.

Some are a little less, well, "animated" than others, but this guy...he's always there for me to lean on...on the back of our chair. My pal, Fake Crow.

I've Got My Eye on You.

I've (Still) Got My Eye on You.

Meatloaf? Seriously?

"Cat:  One hell of a nice animal,
frequently mistaken for a meatloaf."
       -the talented and insightful B. Kliban 1935-1990

 

 

 

I beg your pardon.
Did I just hear you call me a meatloaf?
 
Whatever.

(editor's note:  click on the Kliban cartoon for a link to the official website with lots of cool stuff).

I've Got My Eye on You (Again).

Whatcha doin' down there?

What?!

You laugh as if something is funny or odd in some way?

People are weird.

On Gifts.

One must not allow one's enthusiasm to overwhelm the situation when receiving a gift. It is OK to be gracious but excitement must be held at a minimum.

It's usually best to pretend one doesn't care at all; that way expectations for further eagerness to, say, play or perform somehow, are kept low and are more easily met.

That doesn't mean one doesn't appreciate gifts, or won't enjoy them to the fullest possible level when no one's looking.

The only important thing right now is that I get my much needed rest.

Mmmff.

Pdddrrrt.
(Translation: "Ssshhh. Busy. Later.")

Where Have I Been?

Been busy, as usual.

Family Vacation.

Hello fans.

I've had a pretty exciting week.

I went on my first family vacation. Can you believe, in 7 years, this is the first time we've traveled together?

I can only assume now that every time People and Dog leave the house, this is what they do without me. Believe me, they will suffer the consequences next time they go anywhere, anywhere at all, without me.

The problem, though, with traveling is the travel.
Anyone who says "it's about the journey" is full of sticky white bird-dooky. This part sucks.
Even Dog hates the journey. And she hardly hates anything. Person went on and on about how good she was  for not throwing up the whole time.
Hey look at me, I'm not throwing up either.

But it was worth it, once we got there. After a ritual hide-in-the-closet stint (mandatory for cats in any new setting...under beds, basements, between floors, cupboards, any will do) I settled right in.

I followed Dog on a walk down a strange, damp path to a place like I've only dreamed of...who knew that The Largest Litterbox on the Face of the Earth would smell and sound just like this? Not me.

The minute my paws touched the sand, I used it, of course. Clean, dry sand...why digging a hole in this is like heaven. Amazing stuff, this litterbox. I can see why the whole family would travel to this place, just for me.
 The view from inside was not too bad either.
There were strange things also enjoying the vast litterbox. These were some bizarre looking chickadees, I tell you.

Interesting.

And of course, no vacation is complete without plenty of down-time.

One must stay fresh and clean even when away from civilization.
   A little privacy, please?

   Lap-time is also necessary even when away from home.

I said pick me up, now.   Dog and I thoroughly enjoyed every second.
   That is, until Person chased me around the place to put me back in the car. I made her work for it though.

Yes I Know I'm Fabulous.

I Am, I Am, I Am

I am the softest cat in all the land.

You know that I am.

Nothing.

   Insert your own caption here. Person seems to have way too many to choose just one.

Don't Make Me Get Up.

Why are you bothering me again?

Can't you see the bed is still not ready to be made? It's barely noon on a Sunday. I'm still using it.

Seriously, leave me alone and go back to the office.

That is, unless you wear that big shirt you had on yesterday and stay quietly in one place.

I've Got My Eye on YOU.

Ssssshhhh.

They said "don't wake the cat." Please respect their wishes. Who are "they"? It doesn't matter, just listen to them.

Really Quite Some Nose.

Hey there.

Who are you? I've never seen you around here before.

What a large round nose you have.

I have a pink nose, too, but yours...wow. That's quite a nose.

You're not very talkative, are you?

Alright. Time for more napping. Later, strange-looking large-nosed cat.