flossie's world

Hot Days.

On a hot day, there is only one thing to do. 

Find a comfortable spot, and sink in.

Stretch out. 

Stay cool. 

Eventually the rest of the family will join you. 

Saturday.

Afternoon nap.

My eyes are closed but I can see that hat right there on the table...don't even think about it.

I Think It's the Other Way Around.

 

It's you and this constant clicking and wiggling you pretend is so important that seems to be inhibiting my ability to stretch out. 

I Said Ssshhhhh.

Mmmm, sun.

More Fun With Paper.

Person seems to have been playing with a box and packing paper yesterday and didn't even wake me up for it.  Talk about rude.  Good thing that when she started to fold it up and put it away last night, the crinkling was so loud I had to come running in to see what was making the racket.  And why would someone want to fold this up and put it away anyway?  What good is it then?

Paper is for pouncing on and sliding across the floor on and rolling yourself up in and ripping to shreds. 

 

 

Biting and...    

 

Huh?  

Is someone sneaking up on me?  I think someone's sneaking up on me.  

Anyway what was I saying...oh yeah, pouncing and crunching and tunneling and hiding in...

...no one can see the paper-covered Cat of Mystery. 

That corner is asking for it.  Do you see how that corner is asking for it?

What?

No Offense, Grass...

...because you're cool and nice, but sometimes I just want to curl up in a fuzzy bed. 

Or stretch out on Dog's favorite toy.  

I love it because it smells like Dog. 

But then sometimes all that matters is that Person is home again, and that she brings that-thing-she-does-all-day out here where we can all enjoy the sun, the air, the birds chirping, bugs buzzing, and yes, you...the grass. 

Bath Nap.

So I fell asleep while taking a bath. So my face is smushed and my legs are crossed under me. It's fine. I was tired. I'm comfortable...enough. 

Mama Kitty Day.

It's been several years since anyone has called me that name, but I still know that this day is just for me. 

Happy Mama Kitty Day everyone.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Somebody Loves Me.

Look what somebody dug out of the Christmas boxes for me.

It's my big piece of white furry stuff, the one that goes under my tree. Usually I only see it in December. But somebody put it on the back of the couch, in the sunny spot. I spent the entire day there.

Aaaahhhh. Sunny spot. I've missed you, sunny spot. And I've missed you, Christmas fur.

I've Got Mye Eye on You (2009 Edition)

What I Do.

I know you haven't heard much from me for a while.

It's true I'm still not feeling my best. But I have been here, doing what I do.

As it's gotten less cold, I've started enjoying my window beds again.  

I have been helping Person work. She needs me to do this. She really does. 

I have been watching videos of chimpanzees playing (I am fascinated by their pants and grunts). 

I have been enjoying a particular movie trailer (person lets me watch it a lot, I especially like this part). 

But mostly I've been cuddling in bundles of blankies, usually on top of Person. All day long.  

It's what I do.

Nest.

 

And a cozy one, at that.

Family Time.

When I knocked the scanner onto the floor yesterday morning this little book fell out of it and I saw there were pictures of me in it that Person hadn't shared with you. Because of that, I didn't feel at all bad about knocking the dumb thing over. Person should have been paying attention to these pictures of me instead of whatever she was doing.  

I love Dog. Cuddling with her is pretty much at the top of the list of my favorite things ever. 

I mean just look at how happy I am. 

In the evenings when Person and Other Person are both home and not doing whatever it is they do that they think is important, we get to have Family Time on the couch. 

Everyone does love Family Time. What's not to love?

The Strangest Bird.

Oh, it's you again. 

My strangely rigid and un-delicious friend. 

You just want to taunt me, don't you? It won't work. The first time we met, I took you by the neck. But it was hard and thick. I couldn't even get you in my mouth. I picked you up by your tail. But you were heavy. When I picked you up and tossed you, you didn't bounce or fly away. You clunked. Clunked! You were quite loud. I was a little offended.

I may not know what to make of you, but I know enough not to fall for your innocent chirping. As cute as it may be. Chirping away and snapping that little beak every time I come near you. Nope, I won't fall for it.

Alright I can't help it... 

Why are you still chriping? 

Why is he still chirping, Person? Why? 

This is the strangest birthday present you have ever given me. Although I much prefer it to the last thing you said was a present.   

We will meet again, my little nemesis... 

Editor's note: This little guy has a motion-sensor and a very realistic chirp...and is highly recommended for bird-lovers of any species, although a little pricey for a cat toy. Person picked this one up for Flossie at the Smith and Hawken booth at the Northwest Flower and Garden Show a couple weeks ago...Flossie had not been feeling well but perked right up when she saw him, so it was well worth the expense.

Really?

You're joking, right? 

Does this look like the face of someone wanting to wear a hat?

I said, does this look like the face...? 

I don't care if you saw it on etsy and fell in love because it was the cutest thing you had ever seen in your life and it came all the way from the UK and I absolutely had to have it. 

I'm afraid you were wrong, Person...terribly, terribly wrong.

And no, my head is not too big for it because it's grown since I've become an internet-star. You must have gotten into my catnip. I don't even know what else to say about this.

I can't even look at you right now. 

I mean, really. 

Just leave me here with my dignity. Just leave. Go. 

Oh, you're right, I am on your lap. Well then stay.

But I do hope we all learned a valuable lesson today.

Just Chillin' in a Lap.

That's all I need.

What a Wonderful World.

Have you seen this?

I was busy with something else when I saw this pop up on the screen. I ran up to get a good front-seat spot...this was the best show I've seen in a long time. 

What a lovely story. This kitten's pet dog looks a little like mine...same big ears and long pointy nose. 

I have to sneak up on my dog to get prime belly-spot like this.  I think Person needs to show this story to Dog. 

I love this video. Why doesn't Person have things like this on the screen all the time? 

I watched it 5 times before I could stand to look away. It made me so happy I immediately ate the little bowl of food Person has been following me around with for the past hour. Well, it made me forgot that I was trying to be hard-to-get with the food bowl...but I still think Dog needs to watch this and learn some cuddle-techniques. And see that some "dogs" like to have their mouths and necks licked by little cat tongues and they don't just turn their heads away like she does.

Lap Bath.

Good morning. I just had a thought. 

I need to be in your lap, right this second... 

...so I can take a bath. 

Lap. 

Lap lap. 

Lap lap lap lap. 

Lap, swish. 

Lap lap lap lap lap. 

Lap lap lap. 

That's Not Just Normal Snoring.

That's belly-full-of-chicken-livers extreme-satisfaction snoring. 

Oh yeah. 

What? I was sleeping.

Zzzzzzzzzz....  

What?! 

Give me a break. Stop laughing. I don't put pictures of you, the exact second you wake up, on the internet. But you can be sure that as soon as I figure out how, it will be here. Yes it will. But right now I can't quite open my eyes yet. So pet me already.

More Lap Time.

This is nice.

Lap time with pets and scritches.

But you can lay off the wiggling for a while. 

Why don't you just get some more work done? Quietly, of course.

Thank you. That's what I'm talking about. 

Not Feeling Myself.

You may have noticed I've not quite been my usual charming and perky self lately. It's true, I haven't felt my best. 

Person has spent a lot of time here at the computer with me, reading stuff that sometimes has pictures of other cats on it. I've gotten a lot of extra-cuddly lap time while this was going on...reading is a nice, non-wiggly activity. 

She started giving me some icky medicine every night. She had a long talk with me about how I was going to get this new food that I might hate but how she really needed me to eat it. Blah blah blah. As usual she didn't know what she was talking about. This new stuff is the most delicious thing I've had in months.

And don't tell Person, but the medicine isn't all that bad either...but we must never let them think that forcing stuff down our throats is acceptable behavior. I mean, come on.

I'm starting to feel a little better already. 

Snoring Again.

So? 

Ssshhhhhh.

Lap Time with Person.

Person seems to think this activity is important so I help with it whenever possible. 

I test her to see how long she will continue to do it around me. Some days more than others.  

Even though the lap is my favorite spot, I hold out until the last possible moment before stepping down to make myself comfortable. 

At least this thing she does keeps her in one place. She's hardly wiggling at all. Not even for Dog or Other Person.  They've both come in and out several times, but she's stayed here with me. 

That's all I need. Lap Time is important. 

Don't Open the Bathroom Door...

...or you'll break the cat.  

Carry On.

Still recovering from my traumatic Friday. 

I'm Not Amused. Not One Bit.

For some unforeseen reason Person woke me up early this morning, shoved me into the dumb green box and took me in the car to that strange place again. The one that smells like other animals, where they all talk to me in cooing sweet voices and scritch me, then poke me and squish me and try to hold my mouth open. Try, hah. I would not even look at Person the whole time I was there. She knows she's in trouble. 

I hate that place. Before poking me they rub this cold, wet, bitter stuff on me. You try licking that stuff off your fur, it's awful. 

But you already know what the worst part is. Dumb green box.

Dumb strange place.

Dumb car.

Dumb Person.

Person always feeds me this phooey about how she's taking me there because she loves me. That's interesting, that's the exact same reason I scratch her on her nose and lips while she's sleeping.

Funny how that works.

Ssshh.

Is all that clicking and bumping and ear-tickling really necessary? 

I mean, come on. 

Kiss the Cat.

You can't resist. I know you can't. I mean, look at me.  

You want to bury your face right here and kiss this belly, don't you? 

I know. Just do it.

Me.

Hi. Whassup. 

Meeeeeeeeeeeeee....that's what. 

January Schmanuary.

I'm just not amused. 

I try to tell you not to do this, every year I do. 

Why won't you listen to me? 

What do you mean, don't step on your stuff. I'll step on whatever I like. This is my stuff. I love it. I'll step right into this...um, what is this...box. 

That's exactly what I'll do. 

I'll come right over here and love this and snuggle it, because it's mine. See, I love it. Mmm kiss kiss. 

I'll show you...I'll love this...um, box...so much I'll settle right in. How do you like that? 

See? I love it here. I love this box. Most comfortable box I ever met. For a minute. 

Sigh.

None of that worked. It never does. Dumb old Shmanuary.

Pet This.

You know you want to. 

A Year, Huh?

Feels like longer.

Like, I don't know...7 years. Or something like that.

Anyway...celebrate as you see fit. This is a very important day in Blogland. Today I have been gracing you with my sweet and wonderful self for an entire people-year.

You're welcome. 

So It's a New Year.

I resolve to rest more in 2009. Eat more treats. Play more. And be cute as possible at all times.

But mostly to rest.

Just Hangin' Out.

What's Not to Love?

I mean, there's the tree, my train (although they tell me it doesn't go around any more because of me...I don't believe them) there are boxes, paper, ribbon...what more could anyone wish for?

Real funny.

What do you mean, "do I want to come outside" of course I want to come outside. You've all been out here whooping it up, why wouldn't I wa--

What the...?

Well maybe I'll just come out and see what all the fuss is about.

What have you done?

You did this, didn't you...I know you did this on purpose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, real funny. Ask the cat if she wants to go out into the weird cold wet stuff. You're flippin' hilarious.

Maybe if I just sit on my favorite little bench...

Ew, it's in my toes...

Yaaaaaaahhhhh......no. Not so much. Have fun you weirdoes.

This is NOT a Photo-Shoot.

So the other day, Person had been paying an awful lot of attention to some dumb stuff on her desk. She was playing with the camera and it had nothing to do with me.

That kind of behavior is unacceptable.

"Flossie, get off the paper I'm going to draw on that later."

"Flossie, get down from there."

"Flossie, don't wrinkle that!"

Blah blah blah. Over and over again, I'd hop up, she'd have a little fit and put me back on the floor.

Then Other Person came in and said "Oh look how good she looks on that..." (that's what I'm talking about) "...quick get a picture!"

Person refused at first. "She'll never stay still for that. It's not worth it...no...don't..." but Other Person insisted.

That's when the fun began.

I pretended not to understand what he was trying to do.

  He was determined. Other Person gets that way.

I find it amusing.

He really tried. I almost felt sorry for him.

But not enough to cooperate.   
"Oh come on...here, let me fix this!"

I mean, really determined.

   

"Keep shooting!" he'd say. "Go on, here, NOW!"

"Aw you missed it, that would have been perfect!"

 

Person just laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

And kept shooting. 

I mean, really...all I wanted was to be picked up.

Finally.

Patience is a Virtue.

Yeah, whatever. Cats are just naturally virtuous, we don't need to mess with that in any way.

But this pateince thing, mine has been tried recently.   

Waiting for Person to finish the lights.

 

...then for the decorations. Don't they know I've been waiting for the return of my tree all year?

 

I even had to wait for my favorite-winter-spot bed to be washed. A towel on the floor, folks, this is what I was reduced to (never mind that there are at least 5 identical beds scattered throughout the house...this is the one I wanted to be in).

 

Aaaahhhh. That's more like it.

What's Up.

Is Anyone Else Craving Mexican Food Now?

Look at me, I'm a taco.
Can you believe the cuteness?
I know, you can hardly stand it I'm so cute.
It's almost too much to take, isn't it?
You just never knew a taco could be this adorable.
Okay, we're done with that game...time for a bath.

I Love Her.

I really, really do. 

She is my very own pet dog you know. They brought her home for me.

They told me they were going to get me a kitten, and being a bit of an expert on that subject (I'll let you in on a secret: long ago and far away people called me "Mama Kitty") I was a little taken aback when I saw what they came home with that day. They got the color of the nose right, but that was it. They apparently do not understand what a kitten is, but I love her anyway. And she is all mine.

Even though she is afraid of cameras, silly thing. A real kitten would know better...

I Forgot to Tell You...

...a couple weeks ago I was forced to perform another protest sit-in.
They packed up my friends for another year. I won't even give Person the satisfaction of looking at her for a dumb picture. I mean, come on. Have a little respect.

Quality Lap Time.

Person has been too wiggly lately. I follow her from room to room telling her to stop already but she won't. Even when she's here in the office she's been up and down and up and down. It's really annoying.

But finally today she stopped for a while.  She seems to be stuck here at the computer all day.  It's about time I have a steady non-wiggly lap to sit on.
It's a good day.

Snoring Again.

So? You know it's cute. 

I Had No Compaints Before...

...but I'll have to admit his lap is a little cozier now. 

A Cautionary Tale...

...about the poor soul who allowed the cat to sit on their lap as long as she wished.

Alright, Person is only trying to scare you. It's a Halloween thing. But don't worry, I'll get up eventually...or will I?

But I have to say it is nice to see my old friend Mr. Bones again. When others in the house are thoughtlessly puttering about and there are no other laps to be found, he's always there for me.